It Takes a Village

Some children are raised by a mom and a dad. Some by two moms, or by two dads. Some children have foster parents or no parents at all. In my case I was raised by a village. Growing up I always knew my life was different. There was a constant traffic of new people and different people who both entered and left my life. My parents worked therefore there had to be other people in my life. The most important of these for many years was my nanny, Cookie. Cookie was more than hired help. She was my mom, my grandmother, and my friend all wrapped into one. She took care of me like I was her own. To the point that unlike most children whose first word is Mommy or Daddy, mine was Cookie. My mother told me how she stood in front of my high chair preplexed as to why I was demanding cookies yet every time she gave me one I would throw it back. I would cry, scream, and yell, COOKIE!!!! She then realized that all I wanted was my Cookie.
Cookie was a part of the village that raised me. Now of course almost 21 years later its hard to remember being with her, but for some reason I can still feel her presence. This afternoon my mom called to tell me that Cookie had passed away. I cried and of course it lead to an arguement about "Well, if I hadn't have told you, you would have been mad at me." It's true I would have been mad not to know or to find out from another source.
Every person in my village has taught me something important about life. Cookie was one of  those people who could just live in the moment. She could go from one  thing to the next without looking back. No sorrow, no pain, just happiness. I have never been this kind of person. But after hearing this news I realize that it is time to become this kind of person. The kind of person who just lives in the moment.

Chocolate Covered Cherry

In the year 1994 I was 7 years old. I do not remember anything special  that happened this year except that Forest Gump taught me that life is like a box of chocolates. 17 years later, I take issue with Mr. Gump's statement. Think about it, what Mr. Gump was trying to teach us, is that life is a crap shoot. That one truly never knows what they are going to get. However, for anyone who has ever had the luck of receiving a Whitman's Sampler knows, it comes with a guide which tells the over exactly what they are going to get. Do not like coconut, move three to the left for a nice toffee. Is this truly what life is like. Can you truly choose what you are going to get? When life gives you coconut can you move three to the left and get a nice toffee. I take issue with the box analogy...in my mind life is like a bag of chocolates.

Have you ever been given a bag of chocolates? Would you like to be given a bag of chocolates? Think about it, someone walks up to you and says here is a bag of chocolates. No pretty gold bow, no nicely decorated box, and no well printed map of the journey. Instead just a brown paper bag filled with chocolates, melted and mushed beyond repair. You stick your hand in hoping for a nice toffee, but you pull of a chocolate covered cherry. I fucking hate chocolate covered cherries. You stick your hand in again hoping for a toffee, but you pull out one of those well aged chocolates that turning white from being on the shelf too long. You take one last chance, stick your hand in for that delicious toffee, only to find that you have waited too long and you hand is covered in a mushy glob of chocolate, cherries and coconut and all your hoping for now is a piece of bounty, a square of toilet paper, or better yet, a box of tissues.

 The point is, you have no way of knowing what you are going to get. Life is like a bag of chocolates. You can stick your hand in from now until next Tuesday, hoping and praying for a toffee, but at the end of the day you get what you get. You do not get what the Whitman's Sampler all wrapped in a pretty gold bow showed you on it's meticulously printed map.